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I wanted to am writing up a birthday post, but today was a whiny, arguing day between 3 siblings and I am plum worn out tonight. So for now, here he is on his 1st Birthday. We will be celebrating tomorrow with cake and presents when Daddy returns from his business trip. We love you son. We made it.
This is NOT his juice and he knows it, and it was left closed on the coffee table. He doesn't know yet that I've been watching him, thank goodness for a good zoom lens..
Here he is watching TV while continuing to guzzle. At the SAME time. Little devil.
Oops, I've been caught! Look at the face on this kid.. So darn proud of himself. And ya, it's blurry cuz he's moving towards me so fricken fast.
"What are you doing bud? That's not your juice, grrrrr..." And then he laughs his laugh.. And I laugh too.
Yes, he needs a haircut.. you should see the back. He is taking on a certain.. old man with a comb-over look. To be fair, he was having a pretty bad hair day.
So it's done. Over. Finito. And everything went... well. Really well. More than really well.
We arrived at the hospital at 6am sharp (argh). They checked us in, and led us to the day surgery area. 2 nurses looking after us, one new, one seasoned. Some of the pre-op questions make me laugh. The "new" one was doing the asking. "Does anyone in your house drink alcohol?" Seriously. Is this really pertinent information for this particular case? Is the outcome of Isabella's tonsil and adenoid removal dependent on how many glasses of wine I had last night week?
Everything went smoothly until they started getting all the supplies out to get her IV started. I forgot neglected elected not to mention this particular procedure in advance, knowing it would increase her anxiety 100%. The "seasoned" nurse had everything started. The band around her arm, making her pump her fist. And then she got called away to catch some baby or something else equally as trivial. So the "new" nurse decided that she could do the IV. It went in ok, Isabella was clutching my hand and vibrating, but no real complaining. And then the vein blew. Of course. When the "new" nurse came back and chastised her for not waiting, she said that Isabella moved her hand or something mumble mumble. Right.
"Seasoned" nurse of course got it no problem. Then they gave her some happy medicine to make her relax. 10 minutes later the nurses and I are chatting and Isabella is snoring. I guess it did the job. The whisked her away right on time and I went and got us settled in her room. I waited about 20 minutes to make sure she went under ok, and then ran home to grab some coffee and see the little people. They were just waking up all laying in our bed with Dad. I grabbed a few things and went back to wait it out.
Quarter to nine they wheeled her in. She was awake, sorta and trying to keep her eyes open. For the next 3 hours she drifted in and out. Every time she woke up she would ask the same series of questions. I would give her the same answers, and she would drift off again. "Are my tonsils out yet? How long did it last? I wonder if Sydney misses me yet.. (?) Can I go back to sleep?" At one point she even stuck her finger down her throat and felt around.. "They're gone!"
About lunchtime, she truly started to come out of it. She sat up to fast at one point and needed some nausea meds, but never asked for anything for pain all day. Chris and I switched off so I could get a few groceries and spend some time with Jackson (this experience has really shown what a Mama's boy he is, although they survived, it wasn't the.. best day for Daddy). Isabella watched cartoons, talked on the phone and ate popsicles all day. Chris made dinner and then we switched off again so I could eat, put the little's to bed and get Chris ready for the night/morning.
I went back just after 8 for the night. I made my little bed out of the pull out chair (so super comfortable.. NOT) and we settled in about 11pm, after they disconnected her IV for the night. She started to have some pain about 10, but refused any meds when she realized she'd need a shot in the butt. We tried to convince her that it would help her sleep, yada yada, but she was adamant. ookay. Needless to say she had a restless night. I keep calling from my "bed" to call the nurse for God's sake and get the shot. She would immediately stop whining and go back to sleep. Where does she get this stubbornness from?? Hmm...
Friday morning we were woken at 6am for her IV to be reconnected (they needed to give her several doses of Antibiotics to avoid infection) and that was that. We waited around until just after 10am to be released, me sipping on Cafeteria coffee and Isabella whining to go home already. She was bored. She did end up getting some relief from pain once they found the Tylenol with Codeine. It made her loopy and funny and I kept laughing at her playing with a balloon. We came home to a happy Daddy, sister and brother. She has been playing, singing karaoke (yup, kid doesn't act like she just had THROAT surgery) and eating good stuff. Ice cream, popsicles, pudding, jello, tea with honey, you name it. I am dishing it out, and she is sucking it up.
The doctor doesn't think she should really be ready to go back to school on Monday, but judging how she has been so far I can't see any reason to keep her home. She does not ask for pain meds at all. Her voice is alittle.. off, but I am sure that it will return to normal once more of the swelling goes down. I had a look inside for the first time today, and it looks disgusting (as it should), but she is doing fine. It is over and it is a huge relief. Sydney's turn. Somehow I don't think it will go as.. smoothly.
Side note: I was bragging the other night how awesome my camera battery is.. and it is. As a consequence, I never ever check my battery level. Those 2 hospitals pics are the only 2 I took because... you guessed it. My battery died.
When I was writing this post, I took a look back into my archives to see what pictures/posts I could use as a time-line. I realized I had only made one reference to these ladies, at the very beginning of our friendship, way back in 2007. But yet, they meant so much to me this last year and a half. Why didn't I mention them? In 2008, I only posted 43 times after Jackson was born, and not many more before that. How was this possible?
I started to wonder.. I used to post a tremendous amount of information about Sydney as a baby, and Isabella as a toddler, etc. I documented everything alot. Our everyday life, milestones, illnesses, funny stories etc., and posted it here on this blog. And then slowly over the last year or so, I stopped. Is it because I was busier now with a 3rd child in the house? A third child, who although I loved dearly was extremely high maintenance the first 3 6 11 months of his little life? Who slept so horribly that when he did sleep I wanted nothing to do having to think about happy and exciting things to report in this blog? Um, yeah, probably.
Still, it surprised me how little I wrote this past year. How little I documented and shared with you all. (And by you all I mean ALL 6 of you. HA.) I know I don't have a huge readership, but that never seemed to bother me before (and still doesn't). I think a large part of it doeshave to do with Jackson. I really expected to birth a mild mannered, quiet child who would sit and watch his family run around him and play without so much of a peep in protest. I expected a great sleeper. I expected to add this 3rd child into our family so easily, so effortlessly, and not be able to imagine/remember what life was like before the little angel arrived.
Instead. Our lives have been turned upside down. I think I was disappointed. Things just did not go smoothly with this kid. Nothing is easy, nothing is simple. He is a complex little creature, with a huge personality and big needs. I've mentioned a few times that I have questioned his health, we have visited numerous doctors including a reference and subsequent visit to a Pediatrician. I have talked to nurses, pharmacists and public health. We have taken him and will continue to take him to see the chiropractor. I have whined and asked advice from numerous friends. Finally, I realized the only way I was going to survive his babyhood with my sanity intact was to lower my expectations and love him for being who he is.
Slowly, we have started to see an improvement. Each new thing, new step, new age brings a new level of happiness for him. He sleep betters, eats better, plays better. He is moving, interacting and playing with us, his sisters, the dog, a handful of "strangers". And suddenly I am seeing my interest in documenting this life, my life, their life becoming a reality again. I have missed out on so many chances to document and tell all the funny little stories about the girls this past year. There were so many times I wanted to, and just didn't have the energy or want to make it a priority. I am so sorry for that. I always felt pressure to post, that you all expected me to be posting, that when I finally did post, after a few weeks, a month, it was so time consuming, so draining, that I often felt resentful.
And then, just as I lowered my expectations for Jackson, I lowered my expectations for my posting success on this blog. And whadaya know. I started posting again. And having ideas for more posts. And wanting to take more pictures in order to document things better (although I was lacking in the photo department the first few months after he was born, I did eventually smarten up and start snapping).
I hope to be able to remember and recapture some of the events in the last year, but if I don't that's ok too. It's been one of (if not THE MOST) trying times of my life, but I honestly wouldn't trade it (him) for anything. I have learned so much about myself, my family, my patience. Now if I could only learn how to get and keep this family healthy we'd be rockin. Gah.
Jackson looks like his father?
No? how about now?
Or.. maybe this one?
I guess there's no questioning paternity here. NOT that there was ever any question to begin with.. Er. You know what I mean.
Making friends does not come easily for me. Growing up in a small town, having the same friends since early Grade school, and meeting new ones gradually throughout the years by association through others.. you get the picture. When we moved to High Level 2.5 years ago, I knew that I would struggle to meet people, and make friends. It was really one of the only things that I knew would be a challenge moving here.
About 6 months after, Sydney and I started going to a free play program run by a local organization. At the time I wasn't interested in much more than letting Sydney run around and play. It was once a week for an hour and a half. After going for a few weeks, I started seeing the same people, recognizing them around town etc., and was able to pick out their kids. Still, no one really talked to me. Once in a blue moon I would have a brief conversation with someone, only to be disappointed the following week when they acted like I was once again.. invisible.
When I got pregnant with Jackson, I started to really think about the fact that I had 0 friends, and 0 family living close to me. I had 2 close friends that were pregnant with me when I had Sydney, and although there were a few ladies here that I knew were expecting around the same time, I still felt like an outsider, unsure how to break into a friendship with any of them. I think it was around this time I started (not so secretly) calling a few of these ladies (whom I am mostly friendly with now)the bitches. Ouch. What can I say, I felt really left out.
One day, I was approached to join a playgroup. I was thrilled. Every Friday, we would meet up at one of our houses for a few hours, let the kids play and have some coffee. As the weeks went by, I was more and more grateful that I was asked to join this group of ladies. They became my friends, my children's friends. Jen. Heather. Julie. Birthday parties. Girls night outs. Barbecues. Phone calls. Someone to look after my children in a pinch, and vice versa. Support.
Most of Jackson's baby things came from these 3 ladies. When he was born, they all visited me in the hospital with food. They threw me a beautiful baby shower, and sent us home with meals. They phoned to make sure we were all doing ok, and if we needed anything. As Jackson grew older (and fussier) they offered support, advice, an ear.
Then one day, the inevitable happened. High Level is not a place where people decide to plant their roots and raise their families. They come for work, for the money, for the experience, and then they move on. I said goodbye to Jen the night before we left for Vancouver last summer. By the time we came back they would be gone. Their house, just around the corner from us, someone else's now. It was a hard goodbye for me, being the first. I am glad I wasn't here to watch them pack up their things and drive away.
I said my second goodbye to Heather and her family just four short months later, on Halloween. I had looked after her kids so she could pack up and clean, fed her coffee and food in the days leading up to their move. Moving home, to be closer to family. Another sad day, half of our little group now gone. I went to a Halloween party that morning, that neither Sydney or I really got comfort from. No one wants to be around sad people at a party, in the end we should have just stayed home.
Afterwards, Julie and I would make nervous jokes to each other about the possibility of either of us moving away. HAHAHA. Until, of course the inevitable happened, again. Right before Christmas she told me they were moving, back home, to be closer to family. They left this past Monday morning. In less than 9 months, I have lost my 3 closest friends. While Monday was a sad lonely day for me (as much as it can be with 3 kids and a husband), today I am filled with a sense of gratefulness.
I am grateful that these women asked me into their lives in a time that I would clearly end up needing them the most. I am grateful that I know that I am capable of meeting new people and maintaining new friendships. I am grateful that I was able to learn so much from each of them. I know I am terrible at keeping in touch with people, especially over the phone. Thank Goodness for Facebook, and e-mail, and blogs. I know I still have friends here, and will make new friends one day, I'm not worried anymore. I just hope I can be as good a friend to them as these 3 ladies were to me.
I just wanted to let you all know something scary that happened here today. I am not sure how I am going to cope with this new development, I may just have to start drinking more wine. Kidding. Sorta.
Sigh. Jackson pulled himself up onto a piece of furniture today. All by HIMSELF. Also.. All he wants to do now is walk around. Holding onto our fingers, all proper and big boy like. Sigh. Oh where oh where could my baby be...
