I know I am long overdue for a post, and I wrote one. Or at least, I started to write one. But. It just doesn't feel right. As I was writing, I felt like there was a dark cloud hanging over me. One that I just can't ignore. So instead of playing catch up (I will put that one up in a few days), I've decided to skip right ahead to the very early hours of February 14th, when my father in law, Chris's dad, my kids grandfather had his first stroke. And then a few days later, his second stroke. And then, on the 19th of February, when he passed away.
My father in law was a wonderful, kind human being. He really didn't have any boundaries, would tell you what he thought whether you like it or not, always had an opinion on everything, especially if he thought you were doing it wrong. But. He was generous. He was a hard worker. He had the most amazing laugh. He was an incredible artist, something he has passed down to his son, and his granddaughter. He loved motorcycles, and dreamt of one day owning a boat to travel around the world.
I remember an incident when I was pregnant with Jackson. We were set to leave on a trip in a day, and I couldn't find the truck keys anywhere. We tore the house upside down looking for them. Finally, admitting defeat, I tried to get another key cut. But the truck is American, and everyone I called seemed to me making it difficult for me to get the code. I was frustrated. I was pregnant and emotional.
Rick just happened to call at the wrong time. I started blubbering on the phone, my sad tale of everyone being against me, making things so hard. He listened for a few minutes, and then tore me a new one. I was shocked. How dare he tell me to calm the hell down! That I was overreacting! Wait! He's never talked to me like this before! This means... I'm family now. I calmed down, and it all worked out just fine. Although... I never DID find those keys.
I'm not naive. I know that Death sucks. It's hard. All the cliche's are out there for a reason. I'm watching my husband grieve for his father. And my sister in law, who has a huge job on her shoulders. And my children, Sydney especially. She is so proud that she has his gift as an artist. Has been working almost non stop on drawing and coloring since he passed. And Jackson, who at 4 just doesn't quite understand what it all means. What he is missing out on. When I told the kids that Grampa had passed away, Sydney immediately started crying. Jackson tried comforting her, giving her a hug and telling her, "that's ok Sydney, we have another one Grampa"..
We talk about him alot. Especially Chris and I. I know how hard it hits me sometimes, how quickly things can change. There one day, and gone the next. I can't imagine what he is going through. Something we all go through I guess at some point. I know there's been more than a few times that something has happened, and Chris's first thought was to call his Dad to tell him a story, or ask for his advice.
I am thankful and grateful that Rick considered me a part of his family. That Chris was able to be with his Dad when he needed him most. That my mother in law Susan just happened to be here that week. It's been two months since he passed, which seems so incredibly long ago, and yet feels like yesterday.
I wish I had a smart and tidy way to finish up this post, but I just don't. In fact, this post has sat in my drafts now for almost a month. No quotes seem appropriate, no final words seem to fit. Rick was loved by many, and will be missed.
That is absolutely beautiful. No more words can express how I feel about this post. I did not know Rick at all but have learned a lot about him from your post. Hugs & kisses to all of you. Miss you guys a great deal.
Posted by: Gramma | April 25, 2012 at 06:33 PM